So...

Well, the job situation may have effected me more than I thought.

I have fallen back in my old habits, though not entirely. That combined with recent knee trouble has made things difficult for me to get things done.

I, however, am trying to get my mind back on track and my head back in the game.

The thing about failure is that it is not failure if you try to change...if you try to get back on top of things. If you try again after a mistake, even several, it is merely a trip, not a fall.

I am working on it, so I have that going for me.

As far as my knee trouble, it surfaced after becoming unemployed recently. I took a walk/jog to clear my head and get out of the house and it ended up being the start of some pretty bad pain. I have gone to a general practitioner, orthopedist, had an x-ray and MRI, and now I am going to physical therapy to get it under control in addition to a followup with my ortho.

We will see how things go. From what I can deduce from the results of the MRI is that I do have some bursitis (water on the knee) and some other issues with bone-on-bone grinding in the joint.  Also, the options for healing range wildly from anti-inflammatories to surgery. One thing they mentioned is that losing weight would help with the problem.  I think that may be the cause of the issue.

I am not going to step on a scale...I feel like that was a good idea for me before because the weight is the problem, but the numbers are just numbers.  Focusing on every little change in weight, up or down, can get my mind focused on things that arent important.  Weight loss will come, just focus on what I need to be doing.

So. Plans are to get back on track with eating, get going back to my meetings and get back in the game. From there, knee recovery will follow along with general health and outlook.

Back to it.

Keep on walkin'

Back from a hiatus

Okay, so I am back.

Well, not so much back as I never left, I just have had some stuff going on that brought me down.

First up: I injured my knee.  For a while I was nursing it back to health and staying away from the gym, and that seemed to be going well....and then last week happened. I went for a walk in the morning and, feeling particularly adventurous, decided to jog a little bit just to test myself.  I did it, came home and then BAM. I was in a terrible amount of pain and it just kept getting worse. 

Doctor says that it could be tendonitis, but it could be other things too.  I can't do any exercise that puts any pressure on the knee. So that regulates me to swimming and biking.  Thankfully I have acquired a bike and that seems to be going well.  

Secondly, and perhaps more importantly: I am currently unemployed.  Mentally this has been challenging because my answer to pretty much everything, especially stress, anxiety and depression has been to eat.  I have, for the most part, been able to curb my tendencies and keep off of the danger foods.  It is a daily struggle, though, because now I am searching for a job at home by myself...all day....all week.  

Needless to say, it is a challenge. 

But I am doing things to make my own situation better.

First off, I am continuing to log my meals. Check.

Secondly, I am trying to stay away from the kitchen and not "graze." Check.

Also, due to obvious financial situations, I am not eating out. Check.

So, in short, things could be doing better, but they could be a heck of a lot worse.

I am continuing my walk, I am keeping my head up and staying with the program. Hell, I even got my 90 day chip in OA! That was a great reward for my hard work...next up - 6 months!

I will continue to post, I will continue to track, I will continue to make progress.

I will keep on walkin!

Vlog number 5

Vlog number 4

Vlog number 3

Endorphins are real, yo.

So I have been having a bit of a rough time lately.

Works been getting me down and I have been a tad depressed, anxious and grumpy lately.  That and very introverted.

Monday and Friday were/are different though.  Why?

Because I went to the gym.

I really didn't want to go, but I did. And my wife made me go this morning (all while she went back to bed and asked me to turn the lights out on my way. Thanks, honey).

Afterwords, after I cool off, get hydrated and take a shower, MAN, do I feel good.

More awake, more happy, positive and more.

I had a great morning and am going to push through and have a great day.

Also, at the gym, today was the first time that I looked in the mirror and noticed the change in my body.  

Sure, I have felt it. My clothes have been looser, I have gone down several notches in my belt and, as I have mentioned before, my seatbelt in the car isn't choking me out.

But today, I saw it. I saw that I am getting thinner and more muscular.  More importantly, I am getting healthier.

Have a great one, folks, and as always

Keep on walkin'

(And yes, I used a legally blonde gif. So sue me.)

Vlog Number 2

Recipe day - Shrimp Tostadas with Guacamole and Red Cabbage Slaw and Gazpacho

Bit of a change in format here - we ended up cooking this over two days and completely forgetting to take pictures! But, nevertheless I have the recipes for you:

Click for Tostadas Click for Gazpacho

We changed the recipes a little bit - for the tostadas we just bought the shells instead of tortillas that we had to bake.  They are cheap and easy, plus only 110 calories for 2. In addition, we didn't grill the shrimp, only pan cooked them, and we added some sour cream and cilantro to the top.

For each meal we are having 3 big shrimp, 2 tostadas and gazpacho.  The flavors are absolutely awesome and go well together.

This is an awesome summer meal with bright flavors and lots of great veggies!


Keep on walkin'

First VLOG

Rough times

I am having a difficult time here, folks.

Know that I haven't fallen off the wagon, though.  I am still doing everything right and eating properly and all that jazz.  Since being sick last weekend, I haven't gone to the gym, only because I am wanting to get my body fully healthy before getting back on the weights.

I have had a couple of tough days with temptation. 

Here and there I have been having a desire to just go absolutely nuts and eat my way through everything.

Last week I also missed my support group....maybe I need it as a touchstone? 

Things are not always going to be all sunshine and roses while I am doing this.  There are going to be tough days and easy ones and ones where I completely f*ck up. 

There will be tears, laughter, cheers, screams and more.

Gains, losses, both expected and unexpected.

Character is made by how you handle the though times.

Ill be trudging along.

Keep on walkin'

Recipe Monday! - Spinach chicken and feta wraps!

Howdy everyone!

For lunches this week, the wifey and I are having spinach, chicken and feta wraps.

You will need:
Chicken breasts
Lemon
Garlic
Spinach
Mushrooms
Feta cheese
Wrap skins of your choice
Tzatziki sauce (look here for recipe)
salt & pepper

To start, go ahead and use a sharp knife to cut a slit into the chicken breast lengthwise.  Then cut lemon wheels and put them inside the chicken with about a teaspoon of garlic. 

After this, salt and liberally pepper the outside of the chicken and place into a 450 degrees F preheated oven for 10 minutes. Flip and then cook another 10. After chicken is finished cooking and internal temperature reaches 165 degrees F, remove from oven to rest.

While chicken is cooling, saute spinach.  To do this, you will need a LOT of spinach.  The amount of spinach below came from an entire large container of raw baby spinach.  Simply use a little bit of olive oil, a teaspoon of garlic per pan-ful and then toss over medium-high heat until wilted, but not completely destroyed.  There should be some structural integrity remaining in the leaf when you remove from the heat.

Saute mushrooms separately, but using same method.  Salt and pepper, then toss to combine after mushrooms get nice and brown and release some liquid.

To finish the recipe off, on the wrap skin of your choice (we like mission brand spinach and herb wraps) layer spinach/mushrooms, chicken, tzatziki and about a quarter cup of feta, then roll.  

These are made as a healthier-option to one of our favorite restaurants and tastes just as good!

Keep on walkin'

Slight hiccup

My plans fell apart Thursday.

I was gonna go to the gym and do everything right! But then my immune system had other plans.

All day Thursday, my sinuses started hoarding phlegm like it was going out of style.  That combined with drainage and general feeling of "bleh" kept me from not only going to the gym, but to work at all on Friday.  

Unfortunately it also kept me from going to my support group this morning.

My folks came over to the house and brought me soup, my wife brought more soup home for dinner and I have been keeping hydrated pretty well...so I have that going for me, which is nice.

I was really disappointed I couldnt make it to the gym and get my three days a week in.  I know, I know - I can make it up next week.  But come on, I want to continue doing so well when I have all of this momentum.

I will say this - having parents and in-laws that care about you is awesome.  So my mom and pop brought the soup and a superman stuffed bear to me, plus visited for a little bit (That brought my spirits up) and my mom-in-law, who's a doctor, keeps checking in on me.  Like, I am the luckiest guy alive to have a caring family, wife and friends.

I really am blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. 

Keep on walkin'

Recipe and check in

Okay, sorry about the delay...Father's day was a little busy and so has the week following!

I am not sure what is going on with my computer and how I process the files, so I will share the recipe with you that I did and then do a check in instead of posting the pictures and process.

Also: I would be remiss if I didnt credit my dear wife for actually cooking the meal for the week so that I could get a grip on some stuff that was happening in my life. 

This week we are having Cold Rice Noodles with Peanut Lime Chicken.  The flavors in this dish are incredible...be warned though: firstly, you will need a load of limes.  And I MEAN A LOAD.  Butt-ton. of. limes. Secondly: watch how you prep the rice noodles because if overcooked, they turn into this noodle....loaf.  

Anyway, click here for the recipe: Cold rice noodles with peanut lime chicken

As far as progress goes, this week has been good.  I have successfully worked out two of my projected 3 days in the morning and have actually increased both my endurance and strength already.  Plus, I am starting to be able to see a difference in the mirror when I am lifting.  That is ALWAYS a positive thing.

As far as numbers go, I have lost another .6 inches since last week.  That is also very promising.  

I would like to check in with a scale, but I will either have to attempt to fix the one I have that regretfully passed away last week or find another way.

Regardless, I am not that disappointed in not having a scale.  It helps me keep focused on what I am doing right instead of worrying if I am doing something wrong.  

Well, off to work today.

Words of wisdom: Your life is made up of two dates and a dash. Make the most of that dash.

Keep on walkin'

Good day

So things have been going good for me.  

My experiment on a better way to go to the gym worked as planned - now I will be going before work instead of heading to work early, rushing home, rushing through a packed gym for workout and then home to be exhausted.

I went on Thursday morning and I had the entire free weights section to myself.

It. was. AWESOME.

Even the people are better in the evening.  The 5 guys I was sharing the space with were quiet, didnt faff about on their phones, didnt waste time talking to each other.  They were there to get shiz done.

So, starting Monday, I will be getting up just a smidge earlier than usual - only by about 10 minutes - and then getting my workout taken care of before I even go to work.  I was a little sore throughout the day - moreso than usual - but I was still a little bit more awake.

Aside from that, I am noticing some changes in my endurance, strength and, \get this, my seatbelt.

My seatbelt in the car a few months ago was just a little tight.  I didnt really have much room and it felt like it was kind of cutting me off at the gut.  Now, however, it is much looser.

Also, on the endurance front, today I mowed the lawn.  Mind you, it was a bajillion degrees outside at the time, and I was pretty darn tired, but besides that I was able to take care of business and have less breaks in the process.  I felt spectacular...plus, I earned an additional 1000+ calories to my daily total, meaning I am gonna have a GOOD dinner!

Nothing else to report so far.  I have a great recipe planned for Monday involving chicken, rice noodles, tons of veggies and peanut sauce.

Keep on walkin'

RIP

Okay, so....good news and bad news.

Good news is that I won't be focused so much anymore on my weight. 

Bad news is that is because my scale is unreliable.

NOW. Before you start havin thoughts like "surrrrre Matt, right. 'Unreliable' because you had a weigh-in that wasnt in your favor?" I weighed myself 5 times in a row this morning and each time it was a different number. Differences between .2 pounds and 5 pounds - all of them less than what I weighed last week.

So my weight scale operates like The Price is Right now - just pick the most accurate number without going over?

This is good because it is going to take my mind out of the picture for a part of this journey.  To be honest, I was afraid this morning that I was going to get on the scale and have another rough week.  Not that I have done anything to cause such a gain, but it is always a fear no matter how irrational it is.

Maybe I will pick another scale up in the future...maybe not.  

Right now I am going to keep doing what I am doing and walking my path and know that I am working toward a healthier me.

On a different subject, I think I may have a way, depending on the traffic at the gym at the morning, to work out in the morning and NOT have to wake my happy butt up early, rush to work, rush home and barely have the strength to get to the gym.  Experiment starts Thursday.  Will keep you posted.

Keep on walkin'

How I know what I know...I think

I mentioned in a previous post that I would explain how I know what I know.  

Mind you, what I know applies to me, because it was specially tailored to me.

A few years ago, I was fortunate enough to be selected to be a part of a biggest loser-type program ran by a Texas-based grocery store, H-E-B.  As part of this program, the Slim Down Showdown, I was to participate in a week-long boot camp type experience where I would be weighed, measured and assessed, and then instructed on ways to improve my health and wellness.

This program was - and is - amazing.  It helped me LOADS.  It lasted only a few months, but the information that I took from that still helps me to this day.  The picture above is what I looked like at the beginning of the program.  Heres what I looked like when I finished:

It was a BIG change.  Overall, I lost more than 50 pounds, plus put on some serious muscle.  

Here's what I am now:

Thats one of the aforementioned wedding pictures that I look at and cringe.  Again - the wedding, my wife and everything about it was the happiest day of my life to date, but when I look at myself I get ashamed.  I started eating again for a few reasons, but mainly because I didn't continue to address the emotional issues that I was grappling with, plus the feeling that I still had so much more to lose!

Now, I wish I am where I was back then.

Anyway - at the program there was a fantastic team of nutritionists and dietitians that tailor-made a program just for me.  Overall I was in good health - no outstanding numbers as far as cholesterol, thyroid, etc., and to top it off, my muscle mass was twice the usual muscle mass of the average person....meaning I burn more calories per day just by doing not a damn thing.  

I haven't had a proper analysis since the end of the competition, but I do have the knowledge of the diet (diet meaning pattern for eating, not a strict program you get from a book or website and has a "stop" date) and workout that will keep me going strong.  

I still keep in contact with a few of my fellow contestants - they are another peer group that really "gets" what I am going through and what it is like to face the every day struggle.  Before the wedding I also started, though with less-than stellar enthusiasm, to get back on program.  H-E-B even hosted an "alumni day" for those past contestants of the showdown to get back in touch with what they may have lost, what they still have to go, or what they are succeeding with.  The knowledge that in another 6 months I will be back there at the NEXT alumni day is another reason for me to keep going strong and keep doing what I am doing.

I will look like the middle picture again.  

Anyway, that is how I know what I know, missed with a little self-reflection and insight into my mind.

Keep on walking'

PS - I didn't post a recipe on Monday because I didn't really cook anything interesting this week for lunches.  It was baked chicken.  Whoop-de-do.  I will have something more interesting next week.

Fixing problems

Good morning everyone!

I went to my support group today. It is always a good experience - listening to others, having a comfortable environment to share and having a supportive environment full of people who have "been there."

I shared about my trials and tribulations this week involving my weight loss progress and mental attitude.  It really helped solidify my resolution. It helped me get really right in my head (to the extent that I am able to, at least) and help me get past my gain.

Also, for the first time, people came up to me after the meeting and thanked me for sharing.  They shared their own experience with the same issue - gaining when you should have lost, gaining despite doing EVERYTHING right, etc - and it really, really felt like I was in my peer group.

Don't get me wrong - before I have felt like these are my peers and my equals - but this felt like a family.  We know what each other are going through and we have felt the pain, disappointment and depression regarding it.

Also, while I was listening to one of the people, I found myself trying to give advice.  It is a no-no during the meeting to "cross-talk" or give advice, but I still did it despite being in this listening group.  The girl actually kind of called me out (not in a bad way) by saying "You don't need to feel like you have to give advice."

That kind of triggered something in my head.

I am a fixer.  I want to fix everyone's problems because maybe that is how I avoid my own problems. This is an issue.

I don't know what right I have to do this.  

I am in no place whatsoever to help people fix their problems.  Firstly, I don't know "their story."  I don't know what really will or won't work for them.  Secondly, I am just as f*cked up.  

I need to focus on my problems.  

It will be difficult, but call me fixer no-more.

Keep on walkin'

In the immortal words of Leslie Knope...

In the immortal words of Leslie Knope - 

As expected, my return to the gym was rewarded with extreme muscle soreness.

BUT! I still got up early this morning - again - so that I could get to the gym after work and still have time to eat dinner and enjoy a nice quiet evening with the wife.

So I have that going for me.

Today I checked in with weight loss - I had gained 1 pound.  THAT is within acceptable tolerances.  It shows that I am still on the right path - even though it is a gain, I have still lost 4 since weighing in on Monday - and am taking positive action.

Even though I measured my waist on Monday, I did it again yesterday morning and saw that I lost an inch.  THAT is another positive! I will double-check again this evening to make sure I was accurate and not just measuring in a different place.  Until I get used to measuring with accuracy at the same spot every time, this number may fluctuate too.  Still though - since the wedding I have lost at least 5 inches there.  

Proportionally though, it is a drop in the bucket.  My clothes have more X's than an adult video store and I'm a long way away from buying normal stuff, but it is going in the right direction.

Despite being incredibly - and I mean INCREDIBLY - sore, I am in a positive mood.  

I have a pretty good workout routine that was put together by a personal trainer I had named Micheal.  He told me some very valuable information - "The best exercise for you is the one that you are going to do."  

Exercise sucks.  It is work, it is pain and it results in soreness. But there is a difference between exercises that you don't mind doing and exercises that you don't want to do.  I don't want to walk on a treadmill.  I don't want to do a stairclimber. I don't want to do a lot.  What I don't mind doing is elliptical trainers, walking around the building, bench presses and the like.  

The point is, find something that works the major muscle groups that you don't mind doing.  

My workout routine is as follows:

3x10 reps of each - 
Squat
Bent-over rows
One-arm dumbbell dead lift + overhead press (each arm)
Lat pulldown
Standing curls
Standing overhead tricep extension

I don't mind doing those and they work just about every major muscle group or groups at once.  That combined with a warmup and some abs is pretty complete.

Alright, back to the daily routine!

Keep on walkin'

Reality Check

So I had a bit of a mental crisis this week.

I weighed myself on Sunday.  The results were less than stellar.  It showed a gain of 5 pounds.

I said to myself "okay, not a big deal - you know how weight goes, it is just weight fluctuating."

I went on throughout the day and still had a worry in the back of my mind.  After a while, it did go away though.

Then, Monday morning, I weighed myself again.  It showed the exact. same. thing.

I wasn't pleased.  I was downright pissed the f*ck off.  I go through hard work and effort, turn down things I shouldnt be eating on my birthday of all days and I get a gain?! WHAT THE F*CK.

My wife tried to console me. My folks tried to get my mind back on track, but it was something that I had to do myself.

I can't say that I am there yet, but I did avoid my usual "pattern of regret" - that being spiraling out of control, eating through my frustration and pain and then feeling even more depressed once I wake up the next day. I maintained my composure and kept to my meal plan.

I did have some introvert time - kind of retreated into my shell and wondered what I did wrong, what could have caused it, etc etc.

Last night as I lay in bed I formulated a plan to move forward.  

Firstly: I will get the damn tape measure so I can check in with a different metric.

Secondly: I woke my ass up this morning, got my shit together and went to work early, so I could come home, mow the lawn and then go to the gym.

I did a solid 40 minutes of yard work and then 20 minutes at the gym (was my first time in a LOOOOONG while, and will be sore for the next few days) burning more than 1300 calories.  

THATS what I call getting my shit together.

No time to complain, no time to be sad. Im in this for the long haul.

Also - fell short on my walking 15 minutes a day 3 times a week, but did do an hour worth of activity today.  Not bad, if I do say so myself.

Keep on walkin

Recipe time! - Korean baked chicken

Alright, lets dig right in with recipe time - this week I did Korean baked chicken.

For this, you will need:

2 boneless, skinless chicken breast
1/4 cup low-sodium soy sauce
1/4 cup unsweetened applesauce
1/4 c onion, chopped
1 teaspoon of sesape oil
1 teaspoon of grated ginger
1 tablespoon of brown sugar
2 cloves of garlic
Red pepper flakes
Sesame seeds

This is a SUPER simple recipe.

Mix everything except chicken in a bowl.  Mix it REEEAL good. Crush up the garlic, fine mince the onion and get it all worked in there.  The red pepper flakes are to taste - if you like it spicy, add more. In this recipe, I tripled it for 6 chicken breasts and put in about 2 tablespoons of the pepper flakes.

Now the thing that mimics the Korean flavor is the unsweetened applesauce.  In Korean cooking, Asian pears are used as a sweetening agent, but for general purposes, the applesauce works nicely.

Mix the chicken in there and give it a nice massage.  Really work the marinade into all nooks and crannies.

Now. LET IT SIT. One hour at LEAST in the fridge.  Give it a stir about halfway through.  If you want more flavor, let it sit for a long time.  Mine rested for a good 3 or 4 hours.

After marinating, preheat your oven to 450 degrees F and put your chicken on a foil-lined pan. Put the marinade and onions and all on top of the chicken - it will just reduce down and give the chicken a little more flavor.

Bake the chicken at 450 F for 10 minutes, then flip them over, and bake another 10 minutes.  Make sure that the interior of the thickest part of the breasts gets to 165 F for proper cooking!

And there it is! Eat them now or refrigerate for a few days. The wife and I have been eating this with steamed rice and a big heaping helping of steamed broccoli.  The flavor is akin to teriyaki and is DARN good.

Recipe adapted from http://www.skinnytaste.com/korean-grilled-chicken-breast/

32

Today is my 32nd birthday.

I am fairly confident that I weigh less now than I was a year ago, and I am healthier - mentally and physically - than I was then, too.

I am going to give myself a gift...but more on that later.

I went to my group meeting today and it went very well.  We were encouraged to say how long we have been "abstinent" and what sort of physical recovery we have gone through.

I am approaching 30 pounds lost, multiple inches (still need to get a damn tape measure) and, like I said, I am healthier.

I got up and spoke and vocally went through the process again of analyzing why I was disappointed at my weight loss the other day.  It was good for me to do that because it is reaffirming the positive steps that I have make and continue to make.

I am doing everything I can, and with the addition of walking I will be doing more! By the way, rain has been a constant issue where I am and has hindered my walking thusfar - but I am hopeful that I will be able to do at least the three days that I have committed to. I am AT the "goal" that I should be at, which is doing what I can do improve on myself.

Now to the gift.

I am giving myself the gift of effort. The gift of all of the time, thought, effort, pain, tears and more that will come with this journey. All of that is my gift to me because I am worth it.  I am worth the hard work that it is going to take. I am worth the time. I am worth the tears. I am worth the strength that it is going to take.

Keep on walkin'

Check-in

Sorry I missed my Wednesday check-in, I was finishing up a tv series and we had two episodes left to binge on.  

So, the weight loss for last week was.........

Drumroll please....

11 pounds and some change!

Now, I did cheat a little bit, but not in the sense of food.  I weighed in this morning as well as last night to get a grand total, after last night's weigh didn't prove the results that I wanted.

Last night was 6 pounds and a bit, and then this morning was 5.  

To be honest, I was disappointed last night.  Even a little depressed.  I had a friggin 17 pound loss one week followed by a measly 6? What the f*ck. I was already mentally planning my update post as a means of addressing my feelings and bringing myself to grips. To be honest, I still need to get on that.

I am moving in the right direction. 

I am doing what I can in terms of weight loss by eating right, but I have yet to supplement that with exercise, which is what I need to work on next.

I am avoiding my problem foods, counting my calories and eating my fruits and veggies.

I can proudly say that I have been very honest with my food log.

Why was I disappointed with the initial 6 pound loss? It is a step in the right direction! Big steps! even without this morning's additional loss, I hit 24 pounds lost in two weeks.  That is a BIG deal. 

Putting that in proportions, for someone who weighs 220 pounds, an equivalent loss would be about 9.7 pounds.  Even for someone that size it is impressive.

I suppose my disappointment comes from the sheer amount of loss that I have ahead of me.  I want to hurry up and be at the finish line...I don't want to be walking there at a slow pace.

Thats the problem, Matt.

This isn't a race, it is a marathon. It is a journey.  Sure, it will take a long ass time to get to what you picture the finish line to be, but that is avoiding the point entirely.  There is no line. No stop. No endpoint.  

This is a journey to health and wellness and that goal is the path on which you walk, not an endpoint. I am eating well, getting healthy and changing my mindset to get on this path.  

A weight loss is a weight loss and, as I have said before, weight can fluctuate on a number of factors. I exploited one of those factors to get a bigger loss. It isn't a cheat, it isn't a false number...it is what it is.  Mentally I am going about the numbers game in a wrong way.  

I am going to get myself a tape measure and measure inches as well.  That is one way I have definitely noticed some changes, and I think it would benefit me to track those as well.  My pants are looser and already a shirt that was kinda tight on my honeymoon is looser as well.  Time to start tracking my progress in multiple ways.

In other news, I have finished the gallon water challenge.  While I don't plan on continuing to bring my gallon jug of water with me anymore, I will be more conscious about staying hydrated.

Challenge for this week:

Im going to -literally- start walking.  Let's say I am going to aim to walk three days this week.  15 minutes at least.  I'm not sure how I will do it with the weather as it is in Houston, but I am going to do it.  Three days, 15 minutes at least.

Keep on walkin'

Recipe Time! - Gyro loaf and Tzatziki sauce

Alrighty! It's recipe Monday!

Today we are making Greek gyro loaf and tzatziki sauce.

For those who might not be able to read this, the ingredients are:

Gyro loaf

1 lb lean beef (I like 90/10)
1 lb ground lamb
1 teaspoon oregano
1 teaspoon cumin
1 medium onion, grated
3 cloves of garlic
2 tablespoons breadcrumbs
1 tablespoon olive oil
salt & pepper

Tzatziki sauce

1 cup greek yogurt
1/3 cup cucumber, grated and squeezed til dry
1 garlic clove
1 tablespoon dill
2-3 tablespoons lemon juice
salt & pepper

Gyro Directions

Mix olive oil and breadcrumbs together and allow to soak for 15 minutes.

In a mixing bowl, put all ingredients and mix until well-combined and reaches pate-like consistency.

Once desired texture is reached, spray a loaf pan with cooking spray and spread mixture evenly inside pan.  Make sure to press into the corners and spread evenly - its gotta cook evenly!

Bake at 350F degrees for one hour or until internal temperature reaches 180F.

Let rest in the pan for 15 minutes. Slice and enjoy with tzatziki sauce:

Directions:
Mix it all together. season with salt and lemon juice to taste.

Really...its not that hard.

This is what the wife and I are having for lunches this week - a wrap with 4 oz meat, tzat sauce, onion, tomato and spinach.  Delicious delicious stuff!

Keep on walkin!

Walkin strong

So! Things are going well.

I am cutting back a bit on blog posts because I want to post quality over quantity.  Plus, if I were to keep doing the day-to-day posts, I would quickly run out of interesting things to talk about.  So there it is.

I have been doing well with my water challenge! Friday went well and I successfully spread out the drinking of the gallon throughout my workday, leading to a less-urgent arrival at home.  Yesterday - Sunday - I did the same thing, and though it was condensed a little in the evening I got my gallon in.  Hooray for hydration!

What else happened? I went to my support group again.  I now think of it as "my" support group because I really feel at home there and know that there are people that understand what it is to be addicted.

It is an addiction.  When I see a food that I want, I will gorge myself on it until I am stuffed beyond comfort, beyond full - to the point of which I am in physical pain and discomfort.  Its not just  *one thing* though, but multiple...anything that strikes my fancy in the moment.  I have had bouts where I will literally buy a large jar of pickles and go to town on them.  I recall a specific incident where I purchased a container of habanero-stuffed olives and ate them while my stomach was hurting, just because I had no self control. I am a compulsive overeater.

It is an issue of self-control too.  I need to focus hardcore on this aspect of my life.  But along with that, I need to start looking into the causes and reasons for my eating this way.

As I mentioned before, I thought initially that I am a big guy (I HATE the f-word, along with the o-word) because I like food.  But it really is attached to an emotion so much so that it goes along with whatever I am feeling.  

Happy? Let's celebrate with food.

Sad? Let's eat our sadness.

Angry? Take it out on a meal.

Bored? Food to the rescue!

Food is not a solution, it is a substitute for underlying issues.  Maybe a big part of that is how I am insecure with my looks.  My wife constantly tells me that I am handsome and, while I believe she thinks it, I feel far from it.  Is that maybe attached to anxiety? Fear of judgement? Is it easier to berate myself and get down on myself so that my expectations are already in the basement before someone else has a chance to put it there?

Wow, writing is fascinating.  It gives me a chance to plow through a thought stream uninterrupted and my mind is led to things I had not considered before.  

ON TO OTHER THINGS!

Today I did some awesome cooking for the week - I will be starting to do "Recipe Mondays" where I try to post a recipe for the week along with the cooking process! 

I am doing well on meal planning for this weekend, keeping on track with healthy options as opposed to unhealthy ones...so things continue to remain on track!

Have a fantastic Memorial Day and safe weekend.

Keep on walkin'

Water

I started by water challenge yesterday.

Or rather, I completely forgot until the last possible moments.

I went to work in the morning, worked all day, and then as I was leaving the office, I remembered!

"OH CRAP! I forgot to do my water challenge! Well...I can pick up a gallon at the gas station and chug it on the way home - that will be easy."

Stupid move, Matt.

See, there were a few flaws in my plan.

My number 1 flaw (get it? HA!) was to account for the distance I drive.  On an average, it takes me around 70 minutes to get home. Yesterday, though, took around an hour and a half.  When I got home, I ran in, pecked my wife on the cheek and ran for the bathroom.

After returning to the living room, I informed my wife of my plan and she laughed. Then made a bet that I would get up twice during the night.  She lost, I got up three times.  After the 5 - count them 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 - bathroom runs I had in the three hours between arrival at home and bedtime.

It will take some time to get my body into some kind of equilibrium with this whole water thing.

Second flaw, and much less traumatic, was accounting for how I would feel.  I am a camel when it comes to water. I can put away a large amount.  After chugging a gallon though, I could literally hear the water sloshing around in my stomach.  In addition, at dinner last night, I was walking a fine line.  As fast as my body was processing the water, I was putting a spoonful of delicious food in my mouth.  It was a risky dance, and at some times I crossed the line and nearly lost my dinner, but I got through it.

SO! Notes to self: Check traffic before chugging water on the ride home.
Secondly, though more importantly, DONT CHUG A GALLON OF WATER ALL AT ONCE.

Happy Friday, everyone!

Keep on walkin'

Check-in

Alrighty! We have our first check-in of my little blog.

Drumroll please.......

I LOST! How much?

17.6 pounds.

So, cue the "holy crap!"

I am excited.  

Now, I am keeping myself grounded too.  Referring back to my post a few days ago, weight can fluctuate.  I know it is *around* there, but on my week-to-week count, I am taking that as the "official" number.

I am proud of the decisions I have made and continue to make.  I am proud of my progress and I know that I will continue to move in the right direction.

This post will be abnormally brief, but not without some advice and a reminder to myself.

With a step in the right direction, I must remain vigilant else I will take two steps back.

Challenge for the coming week: I am going to drink a gallon of water a day.

Keep on walkin'

Temptation

I had some temptation today.  It wasn't the first time and it won't be the last, but I want to get it off my chest.

Today on the way home from work, I decided to stop for a drink at the gas station.  

Let me say that I went into the gas station and the situation with the knowledge that I could be facing some tough mental predicaments inside, but also preparing myself to have some strength.  And to my credit, I did show strength.

As planned, I walked to the cooler, picked up a zero-calorie beverage and proceeded to walk out.  On the way out, I thought "hey, I have like...100 calories in reserve for the day, lets see if we can get some jerky."

Jerky, for your information, is actually a pretty good snack.  While it can be high in sodium, it is also high in protein and low in calories.

I picked up a single-sized portion of jerky.  Then I eyed the bigger size intended for a few people.

The conversation within my mind went as such:

"This is a good snack AND I can have more of it!"
"But Matt, I don't think you have the calories in your budget for it."
"Oh shut up - you knowingly underestimate your calorie budget.  Plus, they have CHOLULA flavored jerky."
"You know...I DO underestimate my calorie budget..."
"Yeah you do! Plus, you would only go over by like...100 calories."
"Yeah...I guess so...WAIT. NO. THIS IS HOW IT STARTS. F*CK OFF."

And I proceeded to get the single-size portion and patted myself on the back for making the correct call, mentally both noting my good choice AND remembering the tough call in the future.

It really does start with that.  The slight bending of the rule to accommodate something that I think I really want.  Then it snowballs.

I was really proud of myself for getting past the temptation and making the right call.  It wasn't easy - I like jerky and I love cholula hot sauce (seriously, ask my wife).  

Life is gonna have the temptations.  Just this Thursday my coworkers are throwing a pot-luck food day in honor of my forthcoming birthday, and I will be expected to eat there.  Will I? No.  I am preparing myself ahead of time to go nowhere near the food table.  I will treat myself with the delicious food that my wife and I made lovingly for lunches! And maybe a zero-cal drink on the way home.  Gotta celebrate success and birthdays somehow, ya know?

My point is, preparing yourself for sticky situations ahead of time really does help, but sometimes you can't even trust that and have to rely on what you really know is right.  Honestly, one of the things that helped me in the back of my mind was "One way or another, I am going to be writing about this on my blog. Lets make this a good post."

So thats my post for today.  And it was a good one.  I faced the challenge and overcame.  

With delicious jerky.

Keep on walkin'