Start walking.

Don't stop believing.

My walk has been long and for a while I have gone in the wrong direction.  Every once in a while I turn around, but sometime the familiar way that I am going is easier than the way that I know I need to go.

Time to head in the right direction. 

My name is Matt and I am going to lose weight get healthier.

I scratch out the lose weight because, well, that indicates a destination. What happens then? That is a terminus. An end. This is a walk that will never end.

I am a foodoholic.  

When do I eat? When DONT I eat.  At a weight watchers meeting, the leader once posed a question: "What emotions do we try to rectify or associate with eating?"  

My smartass answer was "Awake."

While it got a round of laughter from my peers, who I hope are fairing better on their walks than I am, there is truth to the statement.  People in my situation often associate EVERYTHING with eating.  It is an addiction.

What's different though is that, with enough will power, other addicts can take themselves out of a position in which they are facing the things that tempt them.  I have to not only face my demons every day but I have to consume them.  

So. theres that.

I recently got married.  A few weeks later I got the pictures in.  My wife was absolutely gorgeous.  Pretty beyond compare.  Beautiful doesn't even begin to describe her.  But me? I hated the way I looked.  The only pictures that I like are ones where you can't see my body.  The single greatest moment in my life is marred by the fact that I was a blimp.  I have since told my wife that when I am healthier, we are going to retake those photos.

Healthy living is a journey. Countless times I have heard that said and drilled into my head, but I have a hard time grasping it.  I have to get that. I need to understand that completely and take it to heart.  I need to wrap my snacking, cooking, food-loving mind around that.  I also need to come to grips with my true emotions when I am "hungry."

I need to start walking in the right direction.

So the purpose of this blog is to serve as my own journal.  I will delve deeper into where I learned that this helps as the posts go on, but for now just take it as fact that this really does help.  

Next post will be an official weight declaration as well as a recount of my meals.

So here we go. 

Start walking.