I went to a support group for my eating.It really gave me a glimpse into what my inner issue could be.
Here's how it all went down:
I showed up a little late for the meeting. Theres a sort of lobby just outside of the meeting room and I waited around in there while the meeting was starting. Some kind soul at the door then noticed me and encouraged me to come in and have a seat.
What I thought was going to be a room full of overweight people in straining chairs (mine included) was really a room full of people from all walks of life and all sizes. Thinking back on it, it is a bit shocking, but also comforting. Overeating/unhealthy eating is an addiction that can happen to anyone. While my current...umm...lets call it health situation is a reflection of that, it is still going to be with me even when I am healthier.
The resulting thought process really stresses the point that a) I am not alone in this and b) it is okay to ask for help.
Throughout the meeting, people shared their stories and struggles that they are facing. I'll hand it to them - the group really is very supportive and doesn't judge at all.
Towards the end of the meeting, the leader asked if anyone wanted to step forward and make a step by stating your desire to get better. I didn't know what I supposed to do, so I remained seated, worrying about what the other people would think about me. That part passed without me saying a word.
The meeting finished and I hung around to try to get a grip on just what everything was about. A friendly guy came up to me, thanked me for coming and offered to answer any questions I had. I mentioned about me being worried about saying I had a desire to change in the meeting.
"Well, do you?"
"Yeah of course I do...I just didn't know what everyone would think."
"That's part of the issue you will have to face, and can face it here. That's part of the reason a lot of us do what we do."
It was a mind opening thing. I don't know if that is coming across in my words, but it was strange...so long I have thought man, I am just eating because I am a fat guy and I like food and blah blah blah.
What is my real issue though? What is the thing that is making me seek food as an escape? When I am healthy, or rather, while I am on the road to being healthy what inner demons am I going to have to confront?
I will be going back to the meeting next week I am going to do the whole desire to change thing. I am me and I love me and I will recover from all of this mess.
Inner demons: you are on notice. I am here to kick ass and chew bubblegum.
Keep on walkin'
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